


Totally Tropical Remus tries to get a Job

by Wildflame



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Drunken Shenanigans, First Meetings, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Totally Tropical Remus, followed by job interviews, silly Remus, they don't really mix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 09:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13245825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildflame/pseuds/Wildflame
Summary: After drunken shenanigans took place on an early morning tube, Remus rocks up to a job interview expecting no repercussions for his previous bad behaviour.He is, of course, wrong.





	Totally Tropical Remus tries to get a Job

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the utter madness that is the Team Remus group chat.

Sirius boards the Eastbound District line at Fulham Broadway at exactly 6:23 am on Wednesday the 8th of November. It will get him to work almost two hours before he needs to be there, but Sirius never intends to ever board a rush hour train ever again. No, his hair is far too delicately coiffed, and his olfactory system too sensitive to withstand the hustle and bustle and stench of a commuter train. Frankly, he’d rather stick pins in his eyes.

Unfortunately, Sirius’s nose is not to be spared that morning. As the doors part and he steps into the carriage he catches a strong whiff of drunk. Someone in the carriage has had a hell of a Tuesday night. Sirius quietly takes a seat across from a young man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, crumpled cream chinos and sandals who appears to be sleeping. Seriously? Sirius thinks to himself. Who the hell wears sandals in November? And who the fuck wears sandals under the age of 46?

The man opens one of his eyes, then closes it again. Then he opens it again and looks at Sirius for a little longer than is comfortable. Sirius averts his eyes quickly. Please don’t speak to me, he prays urgently. Please don’t speak to me.

“Wow, pretty,” says the man, who now has both eyes open.

“Thanks,” Sirius mutters. The guy is obviously talking about him, there is nothing else pretty on the train.

The man stands up, and tries to step towards Sirius. Oh god, Sirius screams internally. Don’t let him come near me!

The train sways a little, and the man sways a lot. He sits back down again.

“I think I am a little bit tropical,” he announces.

“You are completely drunk mate,” Sirius tells him. “Off your face.”

“No I’m not,” the man replies indignantly. “I am tropical.”

“Yeah… totally tropical.” Sirius rolls his eyes. “Are you sure you are alright to get home?”

“No,” says the man seriously. “I think you need me take me back to yours.”

“Yeah, no,” says Sirius slowly.

“But you are so pretty,” the man grumbles. “Very pretty eyes.”

“Thanks,” says Sirius awkwardly. “You can compliment me all you want, I am not taking you home.”

“Very pretty hair too,” the other man continues. “And a very, very pretty left nostril.”

“What’s wrong with the right one?” asks Sirius.

“It has a bogie,” the man tells him solemnly.

“Oh shit, really?” Sirius rushes to wipe it off.

The other man erupts into loud cackles. “I got you! I got you!”

***

Just under a week since Totally Tropical Remus made an appearance, a sober, and very much regretful, Remus has a job interview. Well, technically it is an assessment day because the torture of having to talk to people for an hour to persuade them to hire you is not enough. Now you must spend a whole day in the job seekers equivalent of the Hunger Games in order to get a two-week summer internship.

Remus and the other candidates are escorted to a room where they are to be introduced to the main panel and are given a short presentation about the firm. They file in and take their seats around a large table. At the front of the room, is someone Remus vaguely recognises. He realises to his horror that this man, who is now being introduced as part of the interviewing panel, is tube guy. The beautiful, elegant, well dressed stranger totally tropical Remus had tried to chat up on the tube home.

The presentation begins, and Remus feels sick. Will the man recognise him? What if he already has? Remus reaches his shaking hands for the jug at the centre of the table to pour himself a glass of water for his suddenly parched mouth. The movement catches the beautiful man’s attention, and he looks directly at Remus.

Fuck.

The presentation finishes, and the candidates are split into groups to move on to a group exercise. Amid the commotion Remus makes his escape. Muttering something about needing the toilet he bolts out the door and heads in what he thinks is the vague direction of the exit. After several wrong turns and far too many people (i.e. one slightly dishevelled looking guy with glasses who poked his head out of his office) asking him if he was lost and needed help, Remus finds the toilet. There is a small window above the last toilet stall. It is small, but at the moment it is Remus’s only chance of escape. He will fit or so help him.

He closes the lid of the toilet and clamber onto it, managing to pull himself up on the stall side and put his leg through the window. He pushes himself further through the window using the frame of the door, but then his butt gets stuck. He gives a mighty shove it won’t budge. He tries pulling himself forward, perhaps he might fit from a different angle. He hears the sound of his best suit trousers ripping but the leg does not move.

Remus curses Totally Tropical Remus.

“Oh my fucking god,” a voice says between gasps of laughter. Remus turns to see the beautiful man collapsed against sink shaking with laughter. “This is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Forgive me for not sharing the same sentiment,” Remus responds dryly.

Remus does not leave that day with a job offer. He most definitely does not leave that day with his pride intact. He does, however, leave that day with a new boyfriend. Totally Tropical Remus doesn’t always get it totally wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on Tumblr- come and say [hi!](https://wild-and-flammable.tumblr.com/)


End file.
